Your weekly dose of scam-proofing in 3 minutes or less—no fluff, no corporate BS, just the latest hacks, scams, phishing attacks, and cyber cons you actually need to know about.

🚨SCAM OF THE WEEK: REMOTE ACCESS SCAMS

You know that moment when your computer freezes, and you’re one second away from throwing it out the window? That’s the exact emotional sweet spot scammers love to pounce on.

What the hell is a Remote Access Scam?

It’s when a scammer sweet-talks (or panics) their way into remotely controlling your computer, usually by pretending to be from “Microsoft”, “your Internet provider”, or some vague "security team" that definitely doesn’t exist.

They convince you to download remote access software—TeamViewer, AnyDesk, etc.—so they can “fix the issue”.

Spoiler alert: they are the issue.

How does it work?

Here’s the play-by-play:

1. The call: Out of nowhere, someone calls claiming your device has a virus, your network's been hacked, or you’ve been flagged for suspicious activity. (Honestly, they should win an Oscar for the drama.)
   

2. The pressure: They’ll talk fast, use scary language, and tell you to act now or risk “permanent damage” or “data loss”.
   

3. The software: They ask you to download remote access tools so they can “help”. You do. You watch them take control of your screen. Yay, tech support!
   

4. The fuckery: They snoop through your files, install malware, harvest credentials, maybe even open up your online banking and transfer funds while pretending it’s all part of the “fix”.
   

The damage: Money gone. Info stolen. Laptop possessed. Exorcism not included.

Why does it still work in 2025?

Because people are still:

• Terrified of tech they don’t understand.
  

• Conditioned to obey anyone with a headset and fake authority.
  

• Stressed out, distracted, and just trying to make the damn pop-up go away.

Scammers rely on urgency, fear, and fake authority. It's social engineering 101.

And let’s be real—how many people still think “Microsoft called me” is a thing? (Too many. That’s how many.)

Real-world screw-ups

• In the UK, Action Fraud received over 21,000 reports of remote access scams in 2023 alone. Total reported losses? More than £57 million. That’s not a typo.
  

• One guy handed over £17,000 to a fake Virgin Media engineer. The only thing they repaired was their own bank account.
  

How to not be that person

• No legit company is cold-calling you to fix a virus. Ever. That’s like your bank calling to say they’ve detected kindness in your soul.
  

• Hang up. Don’t engage. You don’t need to be polite to scammers.
  

• Never give remote access unless you initiated the call to a trusted provider.
  

• Install antivirus and keep it updated—just in case you do click the shiny button of doom.
  

• And FFS, tell your parents. These scams love the over-60s crowd like it’s bingo night at the retirement home.

⚡ SHARP CYBERSECURITY TIP

Stop using your pet’s name as your Wi-Fi password. “fluffy2020” is not the digital fortress you think it is. Try a 3-random-word passphrase that isn’t guessable by your 8-year-old niece.

🔥 ONE-LINER HOT TAKE

If “urgent” and “click now” are in the same sentence—close the tab and save your sanity.

That’s it for this week.

If someone calls you saying your Wi-Fi is under attack, hang up. You don’t need to let Dave from “Windows Tech Support” turn your laptop into a crime scene.

Catch you next time,

Dan & the Goldphish team

📌 P.S. Got a parent who thinks “the nice man from BT” needs remote access to their email? Forward this before their life savings take a walk.